so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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