This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize