$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
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It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
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I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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