Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
