Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
