i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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