$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
