ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
