we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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