I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
