I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
