It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
