new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
