You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize