plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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