I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize