just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
