im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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