hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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