At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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