we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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