i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
