I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
