is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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