It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
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Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
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He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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