i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
