These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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