That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
