we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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