am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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