There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
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