I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
