i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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