broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
