nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
