Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
