I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
