Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
