FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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