So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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