he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
