oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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