So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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