Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
