dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
