She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
