Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
