If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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