You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
