I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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