new low.... made out with someone while peeing
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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