And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I will die if light touches me.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
