the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
