you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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