if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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