I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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