Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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