it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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