There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
